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July 2006 Honorable Mention
Punishment
by Barbara Schnell
A Hell’s Angel, burnt brick red by
the sun and with curls hiding small horns, stopped his Harley by
a Route 666 sign. A redheaded bimbo-imp hopped off the back of the
Hog and quickly painted out one 6. The Hell’s Angel nodded
grimly at the revised Route 66 sign and muttered, “All roads
still lead to LA.”
As the imp climbed back on the bike she
asked, “Lord, forgive my impertinence but why do we have to
do this?”
Satan scowled. “When God threw me out of
Heaven I was alone. What’s a king with no subjects? All roads
led to Rome so I put the Gates of Hell there and collected millions
of souls until Dante blew my cover. I finally found Los Angeles
and moved the Gates there. I collected even more damned souls and
was happy until God sent every incompetent, inflexible bureaucrat
who’d ever existed to me. God’s Map designated the road
666 and even though I ordered the bureaucrats to modify the signs
so souls wouldn’t know where they were really going they refused.”
Satan bared his fangs, shook one taloned
fist at Heaven and howled triumphantly,” It’s taken
me eighty years but I’ve changed every sign! My Gate will
remain to trap souls and those bureaucrats you sent are stewing
in the deepest pit of Hell! What can you do to me now?”
The clouds parted and a resonant voice boomed,
“I’m organizing the bureaucrats into a Union.”
Satan wept.
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