August 2005 Winner: Dr. Joyce Wheeler, A
Honorable Mention: Carol Gandolfo, Seymour's
Honorable Mention: Barbara Schnell, Skunk
View the 2005 Will Write
4 Food catalogue of winners & honorable
mentions. View the contest rules.
This image used courtesy of the Geek Philosopher Website -
by Barbara Schnell
It all started with that damn deer, Flower
thought mournfully as he surveyed the horticultural wreckage his life had
He’d been a lonely little fellow. Nobody would play with him because he
tended to expel nasty gases when he got excited. He’d been hiding in a
flowerbed, enviously watching the other kids play, when Bambi caught sight of
him and mistakenly called him ‘Flower’. So, to make himself acceptable
to herbivores he’d adopted the name and buried himself in all things floral
to mask his natural scent. He finally had friends. Unfortunately, none of them
The friends grew up, as friends do, and gravitated to others of their kind. Except
for Flower. Other skunks thought his fixation with plants (for decorating, not
eating) was odd. Some whispered that he was gay.
Now Bambi had a mate and Flower had pansy-motif bed linens.
He was an adult skunk, dammit! It was time to accept what he was, find a mate,
and get on with life. He released long pent-up flatulence with a sigh of relief.
What freedom it was to be able to quit worrying about personal odor! He looked
at his bedroom critically. Tomorrow he’d lose the foliage and get striped
sheets and a leather daybed. He rubbed his paws together in anticipation. Little
skunky odors escaped from under the covers and he inhaled them in appreciation.
But first he’d change his name to Stinky..